You're so nebulous sometimes
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
