Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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