I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
