Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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