I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
