Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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