Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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