Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
