I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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