so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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