the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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