Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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