he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
