he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
