Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
