i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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