i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
