wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
