I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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