he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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