You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
