He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
