got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
