you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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