pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize