Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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