Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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