you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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