how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
