I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
