I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
