Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
