allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
