I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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