I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize