So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
