I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
BRING THE BAGELS
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
