Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
