He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
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yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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