Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
