I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wish life had little blips of pornography
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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