So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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