I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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