i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
