Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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