Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
