his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
