tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
