plz talk dirty to me
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
