we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
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He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
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Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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