Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
