Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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