D3 body, D1 cock
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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