i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I FOUND THE LEGS
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder