Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
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Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
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Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?