Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
