Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
