Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just forgot I was standing up.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
