on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
