It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
