Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You ruined the universe
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
