I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize