I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
