would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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