i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
