he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Randomize