Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Found your dick twin last night
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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