Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
