got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
