everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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