i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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