Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
