He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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