My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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