I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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