Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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